How to Keep Marriage Interesting
Everyone want to have an Interesting and Spicy Marriage but few knows how to keep marriage interesting, spicy and hot following a few tips and tricks on keeping the mariage interesting.
Before you consider reinstating flirtation into your marriage, you must first get your head in the right frame of mind—where it once was during the courting stage of your relationship. I am convinced that if couples went the extra mile to treat their spouses with the same “I-will-work-to-make-you-mine,” mentality, he or she would keep the ennui from creeping into the relationship.
Below are a few suggestions to help you get started:
- The brain is the largest sex organ. You have to start here to feel good about sex. If you are angry or anxious at a partner, you have to deal with the brain first. Anger that is held in does not create good sex or help you to feel sexy.
- Your attitude. Embrace yourself — you don’t need to be a perfect size. If you have curves and hips, embrace them. This is one of the most beautiful aspects of women. Most of us have flaws, cellulite, acne, or wrinkles. These “flaws” will not distract from a beautiful smile or a warm embrace. Take a lesson from your man. Men are much better at embracing their flaws than women are.
- Fantasize. The more you think about sex, the more you will want it, so be sure to take time to think about it. Read romance novels, listen to music, and watch movies. I caution couples not to share their fantasies unless they involve one another.
- Get to know your body. Touch yourself so you know the sensitive areas of your body. Where does it make you feel good to touch? This knowledge is very important and helpful to the person loving you. Your partner cannot read your mind, so let them know what feels good.
- Foreplay. The name tells you what it is for. Healthy marriage foreplay starts first thing in the morning and lasts all day. Make sure you stay connected during the day with a quick call or text. Sexual intercourse is only one small part of sex. There are so many ways to be intimate in your marriage, so why get hung up on only one?
Flirtation does not have to end. You simply have to be clever and creative in order keep the flirtation wheel turning, which ultimately keeps the flame burning. The following are some suggestions I gathered from sources who claim the “teasers” they shared can do the trick because those who passed them on to me were once happily married. They pointed to these examples as situations or incidents that attracted them to his or her mate, or that kept them fighting to keep the marriage intact even when times were tough.
Try one or all of the following ten tips:
1. Leave a small flirty note. Communicate a fun, romantic or sexy message to your spouse via text, e-mail, voice message or, if you’re “old school,” put a sticky note on the fridge, on his/her side of the bathroom vanity, or the dashboard of the car. The message can be simple and to the point like, “Hey, what are you doing later?”
2. Give the special look. The next time you are in a crowded room sitting around the dinner table with friends and family, don’t say a word. At the right moment, make eye contact with your spouse and give him/her that special look, that cheeky smile or a mischievous wink. He or she will get your drift.
3. Give the subtle touch. Reach out and touch your spouse in a very gentle way at a time when they least expects it. It can be a soft touch or a flirtatious one. Putting your hand over theirs during a parent-teacher conference, gently stroking the back of your partner’s neck while watching a movie, or slipping off your shoe momentarily under a restaurant booth and running your toes against your spouse’s ankle is a great way to set off a spark.
4. Offer the unexpected comment. Say the most flirtatious and out-of-the-blue thing at the most unlikely time. Instead of “I’m glad I married you” over dinner on your anniversary, try “Will you marry me, again?” while your heading down the grocery or hardware store aisle. It is those unexpected comments at the most unusual times and places that can be so pleasantly provocative.
5. Let loose the devil in your voice. Summon up that special tone of voice you used when you were first dating your spouse. For instance, instead of saying, “Where do you want to go on vacation this year?” in a matter-of-fact tone, try to attach another attitude to that same question, the one you used to use—the one that had a little devilish subtext beneath it.
6. Resurrect the pet names. Don’t forget that pet name you once called your spouse. In the early stages of your relationship you no doubt had a special way of addressing your spouse. It may have stuck with you for a time and then you may have forgotten to use it. Bring it back.
7. Deliver the unexpected gesture. Surprise your mate with your romantic actions which might include sending a greeting card for no apparent reason whatsoever, summoning your spouse into the master bath after the kids are fast asleep where you have a waiting candlelight bubble bath for the two of you; or carving you and your spouse’s initials into your favorite backyard tree. To direct your spouse’s attention to that spot, you might suggest he or she carefully check the tree because you suspect that there might a hornet’s nest forming in it.
8. Go ahead, be the flirty stranger. Next time you are alone or with a crowd of others in an elevator sneak a quick kiss or, better yet, come on to your spouse with a quick one-liner like you are just meeting them for the first time. You’ll please the onlookers if there are others riding up or down with you and even if it’s just the two of you, it is a great way to flirt. Such a “role-playing” moment might portend of what is to follow later.
9. Arrive home with intention. Next time you come home from work bolt through the door with force and head right for your spouse. Grab him or her and begin to shower your spouse with hugs and kisses like it’s been weeks since you saw him/her. Seize that moment by saying all the things you used to say when you two first began to date. Talk about turning up the heat!
10. Give ’em your best line. Do a little homework and make a list of fun come-on lines that you can spew at your spouse at the most unexpected moments or when you sense he/she is getting bored with you. Let’s say you are at the cleaners together and you suddenly lean over and whisper, “You want to go to a party tonight?” Yes, that is a great flirting line, but I challenge you to use your imagination to make your list. If you get stuck, watch some really well done romantic comedies and jot down a few classic lines like, “You had me at hello,” (Jerry McGuire), “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” (Casablanca), or “Do you love me because I’m beautiful or am I beautiful because you love me?” (Cinderella). A wonderful homework task is to research some ideal movie lines that resonate with you.
18 Simple Tricks To Spice Up Your Marriage
1. Surprise your husband with a simple date night, so when he gets home from work you two can enjoy an intimate conversation over dinner.
2. Randomly stop and kiss your husband passionately. It doesn’t need to lead to anything else, but if it does go with it!
3. Before you go to bed offer a quick foot massage or back rub to relieve his tension from the day.
4. Send your husband a text letting him know why you love him with one thing that you appreciate him for.
5. Pillow talk! Spend time reminiscing over some of your favorite moments together.
6. Change up the way you say good-bye in the morning. Before your husband leaves for work whisper in his ear that you can’t wait for him to come home. If he is not use to you doing this it will keep him thinking about you all day.
7. Schedule time together that both of you can prepare and plan for.
8. Leave a little note for your husband somewhere for him to see during the day that reminds your husband that you are eager to be with him. Let him know he is wanted!
9. You are never too old to play. Initiate a tickle fight or a fun game of keep away, where the goal is to laugh together.
10. When you get ready for bed, ditch the sweats and ask your husband what he would prefer you to sleep in!
11. Adjust your perspective on marriage, especially in those moments of frustrations where you are consumed with what your husband is not doing right. Remind your heart of your husband’s good!
12. If you and your husband use social media, post a picture of your husband, tag him and brag about him. The public affirmation may bring a smile to his face.
13. Be spontaneous with your husband. Take a day off to just enjoy each other’s company.
14. Enjoy a date in the shower together. This will provide some great connection where no phones or televisions are allowed! Being vulnerable with your bodies will be a perfect way to cultivate intimacy in your marriage.
15. Plan a date where your kids can come along. Be intentional about treating it as a date, but be flexible with distractions, knowing your kids are learning about marriage from your positive responses to each other.
16. Sleep in together, even if you are a morning person. Relish in those moments you spend snuggled in bed, a perfect place to feel the closest to your man.
17. Take a brief moment to make eye contact with your husband. So much of your time can be divided, but let him know he has your heart by making sweet eye contact.
18. Be quick to say yes! If your husband initiate intimacy respond joyfully before an excuse ever reaches your lips.