25 Must-Have Dating Guide Tips and Tricks
Have a date and need a dating guide? We have for you 25 Must-Have Dating Guide Tips and Tricks
This dating guide presents an overall look at the basics of relationships and dating, both in the real world and online.
Reading People: Body Language Briefing
Body language is the meaning behind the words or the “unspoken” language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal.
1. Eyes – If you don’t look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly. If more than one person is present in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.
2. Attention Span / Attitude – Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.
3. Attention Direction – If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.
4. Arms Folded / Legs Crossed– This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.
5. Space / Distance – On the whole, people like their own personal body space. Give people room and keep out of their space. Entering to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive.
6. Leaning – Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested listener leans toward the speaker.
7. Note others’ body language – While you are with others, note how their bodies read. If a person suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking his head “no,” you’ve probably lost him. Might try taking a step back and picking up where the conversation began this turn for the negative and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!
8. Bonding – Bonding with another person generally does take time. Communicate – talk, listen, share the good and the bad, ask questions, compliment instead of nag or insult. In short be a friend; make a friend. That is healthy. If this bonding is lacking, it may mean
professional help is needed (like a counselor or therapist) or it may be time to move on to healthier relationships.
9. Communications – Be open to the other person. Check judgmental attitudes at the door. And give chances. Be fair, flexible and friendly. If and when things get out of hand and it is your fault, apologize and ask forgiveness and move on. Similarly, be acceptable to apologies and grant forgiveness, too. Life is too short to stay focused on the negative too long. No need to deny it; face it, deal with it and move on past it to improve and strengthen your relationships.
10. Dependable – Be a friend; i.e. be dependable. Things happen from time to time and cancellations are a part of life. But on the whole, if you say you’ll do something, do it. Take responsibility for your own actions.
11. BE OPEN– Often we decide something is not right for us before we even give it a
try! For example, many of my clients say, ‘Online dating is for losers.’ They have
never tried it nor do they know the variety of sites or people out there in
cyberspace. If you do this sort of nay-saying, take a step back and try something
new. You never know what will come of it…
12. LOVE YOURSELF– Often singles wait around for the perfect partner to come
save them. Meanwhile they won’t travel, buy a house or take a vacation. If you
are happy, you are much more attractive. Start loving yourself the way you want
to be loved. Write down some things you’d love to do and make them happen.
You’ll be a radiant and more interesting date.
13. LEARN TO DEAL WITH NO– No is just a word like yes. Often when we are
rejected on a date, we reject ourselves. We tell ourselves that no one will want to
date us ever again and we give up. Being rejected is a normal part of dating, so,
learn to say something positive to your self like, ‘I am wonderful and the right
guy will stick around.’ Then keep dating.
14. BE CLEAR & REASONABLE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT– It helps to be
clear when you are looking for the right mate. Take some time and make a list of
the qualities that are most important to you. Also know what you won’t accept.
Make sure your list is reasonable because no one is perfect. With your eye on the
target you will hone in on appropriate matches.
15. TAKE CONSISTENT ACTION– In order to manifest goals, we need to take
action. Pick two things a week that you will do to meet new people and hold
yourself accountable for going out. To get the best results, you need to be willing
to put in the effort.
16. ENLIST HELP– Everyone does better with a cheerleader or team. If dating is
hard for you, enlist support. Gather your single friends to go out with you to
events. Ask the people who love you to fix you up. If you want confidential
support, consider hiring a professional dating coach like myself, to keep you in
action and on track.
17. LOOK BEYOND ‘YOUR TYPE’– Often we pick the same partners again and
again, even if the package looks different. Try something new. Sometimes it’s
the man an inch shorter than your height restriction that sweeps you off your feet
and proposes, making you happier than you ever thought possible. Get out of
your own way and give someone new a chance. You may be very happy you did.
18. LEARN WHAT ‘STOPS YOU” IN DATING & MOVE PAST IT– Examine
your past dating patterns, limiting beliefs, actions or defensive styles. To learn
more about this, get my book ‘Dating From The Inside-Out’ and do the
19. STAY POSITIVE– Just because you haven’t met the partner of your dreams yet,
doesn’t mean you should give up on love. Commit to meeting all kinds of new
prospects and having fun. Learn about yourself and find something to like in
every date or situation. People will be attracted to your good energy and will
want to be around you.
20. LEARN FROM EVERYONE YOU MEET– Just because each date won’t turn
out to be your spouse, does not mean that it was a waste of time. Choose to
appreciate something and learn something from every date. It will leave your
dates feeling great and you will find dating to be a much more positive and
21. DO have fun & look for the positive
22. DO remind yourself of what is great about you
23. DO try to learn something from every date
24. DO be true to your values and standards
25. DO be willing to be surprised
You can always try to be a badass to conquer your date. The Complete Guide to be a Badass is a must read if you want to suceed at a date.